#15: Powerful Allies for Life: Compassion and Empathy
A curious soul with a passion for learning and growth. Gin and wine lover. Crazy about all things food and travel. This series of posts between June-August will dive deeper into my personality.
My journalism professor’s email in November 2014 was what started this all. It scared me. I was worried I wouldn’t graduate in time.
My Master’s thesis topic had to be approved by December of that year, and I had to secure a two-reader committee to sign off on my thesis. The truth is, I had been falling behind in both areas.
I had been researching topic ideas since August 2014 and was struggling to finalize a theme.
It was new territory for me. It was going to be a story about U.S. female military veterans returning to civilian life after spending years in war-torn countries.
I wanted to cover their struggles, their trauma, and why they couldn't get the much-needed support they deserved. There was plenty of research out there on what was lacking, but nobody I met could answer why these problems were there in the first place.
The hardest part of my thesis was interviewing these women military veterans.
Finding the women who would be able to help me present a diverse picture of the problem. Convincing them to tell their stories.
It wasn’t a life I was remotely familiar with. Everything I knew about the military was from the war movies I saw on TV. What if they didn’t respond to my email? What if they dismissed me like some nosy reporter?
As I was figuring out who my “sources” were going to be, I started becoming more compassionate and empathetic.
I realized I had to be open and honest about my lack of experience with this subject. They were going to share some of the harshest, traumatic, painful, and horrible experiences of their lives with me.
I couldn’t pretend—not with these women.
I couldn’t tell them I knew what they were going through. Because I didn’t.
I was a young, 26-year-old student reporter when I took up this project. Interviewing women with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and those who had undergone sexual assault and harassment during their time in the military wasn’t the easiest topic I could have chosen. These were sensitive, delicate subjects I had to discuss with these women—uncomfortable topics, areas I just wasn’t used to.
Till date, I have no idea how I managed to interview 30+ women for my thesis. Every story I heard was unique. Every woman approached my questions in a way I had never experienced before.
Some were single moms.
Some were divorced and undergoing therapy for PTSD.
Some were married and had PTSD.
There were ones who had braved sexual assault for years while serving in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Some had faced blatant discrimination from their superiors.
Some had returned home to the U.S. to be out of a job and savings.
I couldn’t stitch together the perfect picture—I had been trying to find the perfect story, which is why I had struggled for months to nail down the topic. In the end, it wasn’t a perfect story. And that was fine.
The landscape of non-profits and veteran organizations to support these women was messy and chaotic. There was no one place they could go to.
It was confusing for me as an outsider and an emotionally healthy person to understand, so I could only imagine what it must have been like for these women. They had to take care of their children, earn their livelihoods, find jobs, and find mental health resources while dealing with the effects of war. All alone.
With some women, I had to conduct email interviews. With others, I spent weeks chatting with them on LinkedIn to discover their story. The reason? Many of them were scared of having a phone call with a stranger. Some of them didn’t know how to verbalize what they’d gone through. Writing was the only way to make a connection with them. Others, who had suffered less, were willing to talk to me openly.
I have no idea what made me pick this story or how I finished my thesis on time. But I did and successfully graduated, and it changed me forever. I had never thought of myself as compassionate or empathetic. But after this experience, I started rewiring my whole being to become more compassionate and empathetic than I was.
I can’t say I am perfect. But I have seen so much to realize that I still have a long, long way to go. And that’s alright. I am learning every day, and I hope my story leaves you with something—a reminder to be compassionate and empathetic.
To accept that you may not know everything, but you have plenty of opportunities to better yourself. To fix your mistakes. To be a better person.
To be someone who aspires to leave a powerful legacy in the world.
If you’re here for the first time, I’ll give you some context into these posts.
Last week, I decided to start a series of articles that would uncover shades of my personality. Some of the words that describe me have been chosen by others who know me. Others are words I use to describe myself. If you haven’t read last week’s post, you can read it here.
So, No. 2 and No. 3 on my list are compassion and empathy.
The world needs more of us who are compassionate, kind, caring, empathetic, and forgiving. Let’s not give up. Let’s make the change—together, one day at a time.
I’ll see you next Sunday, and until then, stay safe and be well.
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Cheers,
Kritika
I got visuals of me going through my thesis topics when I was studying. And reading your topic sounds 10x times way more daunting ..
You're absolutely right about Compassion and Empathy. Today we need these more than anything. But I have had times when I see WOMEN seeking such without having a real problem. Maybe I've seen a bit more than usual, which makes me question people's intentions and motives.
But yet I go along, with an open heart and a cautious mind. You've made me a bit more optimistic too. :)