#16: Networking = Interesting Conversations, Infinite Possibilities, Serendipitous Opportunities
A curious soul with a passion for learning and growth. Gin and wine lover. Crazy about all things food and travel. This series of posts between June-August will dive deeper into my personality.
The bar was dimly lit. One of those fancy places, you see. Fancy places have dim lighting.*
From a distance, I could see the bartender trying to fulfill orders. Customers were thronging the bar.
It was noisy. It was jam-packed.
Amidst the crowd, camaraderie, and conversations, I noticed a man walking up to me. He looked excited and like someone who would be keen on having an engaging conversation with me.
As he approached me, he stuck out his hand.
And handed me his business card.
I took his card—not like I had any other option. He started to go off on his introduction train (name, work, type of job, what he was looking for, etc.).
I was new to this.
I was standing in a bar, in the heart of Manhattan, in 2015, trying to summon up the courage to blurt out my elevator pitch to a stranger. He looked like an eager sales guy. Trying to be pushy. Trying to close a deal.
I was a newbie to networking events. I had no idea how this would go. I signed up for the event on a whim with the overwhelming feeling of nervousness. I knew I was probably going to be the only Indian at that event.
Yet, here I was. Cocktail in hand. Dressed up. A fake smile plastered on my face. Someone had told me to appear pleasant and approachable at these events. I don’t remember. Maybe I read it somewhere in one of those “networking tips” articles.*
I stood listening in “rapt attention,” and the guy continued to blabber. He loved listening to the sound of his own voice.
After 10 minutes, I told him I was going to get a drink, and I stepped away to talk to someone else. Phew!
Now, why did I highlight my networking misadventures?
THAT is a crash course in how not to do networking.
Don’t go to a networking event (virtual or offline) and talk ONLY about yourself. Let the other person jump into the conversation.
I go into networking conversations with an open mind. Keeping myself open to the possibilities of meeting an interesting person—someone from whom I can learn something new.
I can’t be Mr. Business Card. I never was.
I don’t have the laser-sharp focus of a sales person who wants to target customers.
I meet interesting people and like to have thought-provoking, sometimes funny conversations.
These people may or may not get me my next job.
They may or may not even add “value” according to some people. But then value is subjective.
My focus instead is always on the vibes. Can this person be on my social calendar? Can I have a friendly relationship with them? Or even be friends with them?
Can I collaborate with them to build something new and exciting?
Can they show me a different perspective or an idea I have never come across before?
Networking for me equals interesting conversations, infinite possibilities, and serendipitous opportunities.
By focusing only on what you can get out of people, you lose out on the magic of serendipity.
You miss out on the zillion possibilities that one conversation could lead to.
You shut your mind and your life to what could be.
This approach might work for some people. It’s never worked for me.
I take my time with people. I want to build relationships with them. I want to see what I can offer them first before I ask.
I want to see if there’s more to a person than a business card, LinkedIn profile, or Clubhouse bio. Yes, we’re in 2021. We have Clubhouse and Greenroom now.*
Two weeks ago, I decided to start a series of articles that would uncover shades of my personality. If you haven’t read last week’s post, you can read it here.
So, the fourth thing you should know about me is my openness. My open-minded approach to conversations, people, and life.
Now, you tell me.
How do you approach networking?
What are you scared of?
Bonus points if you have a funny story to share in the comments.
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*If you’re not new to these, you will know I sometimes have conversations with myself (or even with you) in the middle of my articles. They’re side notes. Side conversations. Something to help you understand where I’m coming from. It’s a weird thing I do. Bear with me.
See you next Sunday!
Photo credit: Unsplash
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Cheers,
Kritika
I could relate to this totally!
I have pretty much the same fundas that you have when it comes to networking. although being very shy, I sometimes get tongue tied! But I approach networking with an aim to build enduring and lasting relationships because approaching networking with just your own narrow interests and motives in mind can be a zero sum game.
Hehe!
I so relate to this.
One of my worst fears in a networking event at Uni was going to a Bar and NOT having anyone to talk to. But right on my first event itself, I realized that there were just so many people interested to have a conversation with me that I was shy and wanted to go back to my room. Over time, I learnt to take the leap and have "the perfect cocktail of Q&A" ready for such events.