#17: Cultivating Friendships is a Lifelong Journey

A curious soul with a passion for learning and growth. Gin and wine lover. Crazy about all things food and travel. This series of posts between June-August will dive deeper into my personality.

Three weeks ago, I decided to start a series of articles that would uncover shades of my personality. If you haven’t read last week’s post, you can read it here.

So, if you’re looking to know me better, you’ve come to the right place, my friend.

If you’ve met me in person or on a Zoom call, you’ll know I love networking. I love meeting new people and just chatting with them about their day, life, and interests.

Most of the time, there’s no agenda. No purpose.

These people might get me an interesting gig, invite me to speak on a podcast or panel, help me land my next job (It’s all happened in the past!)—or not. It doesn’t matter. It’s never mattered.

In last week’s post, I talked about my open-minded approach to conversations, and this post dives a little deeper into the topic.

Most people spend their entire lives in the same neighborhood, same city. Everybody knows them, and they know everybody. That’s great. That’s one way of living life.

Even though I have lived in one place for long periods, I’ve had to move for work, family, and education, making me rooted and global at the same time.

At 14, my family moved to Bahrain, and I had to leave behind friends I had known for years. At the time, I was excited to move to a new country, experience new cultures, and make new friends.

When I was 16, we decided to move back to Mumbai, and I was heartbroken. As a teenager, I felt as if my world had shattered into a million pieces. I remember crying on the flight back home. I had not wanted to leave Bahrain behind.

Not surprisingly, leaving behind my friends in Bahrain was not the easiest decision to make.

Once I finished my software engineering degree, I realized life wasn’t going to be the same. People would come and go in my life. Some friends would last for a lifetime, and some would drift away naturally. As kids, we’re not prepared for this to happen.

We think we’re “friends forever.” But everything from jobs to moves to marriage to fights to differences in values and needs affects friendships and relationships in general. You don’t learn that in school or college.

At that age, you believe everything is going to work out just fine. And it does—in the end. But not like you imagined it would.

I was lucky to make some really good friends at my first job back in 2010. Thankfully, I’m still friends with some of them despite them being in different countries. As an adult, you learn how to make long-distance friendships work, or at least you slowly accept the reality.

When I was studying in the U.S., I made some lifelong friendships. Even though I moved back to India, I know that I can get on a video call with these friends any day, any time.

I was video-calling friends even before the pandemic. That was normal for me. Now, nearly two years into the pandemic, and video calls have become the norm.

Because of constantly moving around and being forced to make new friends each time, I have cultivated a mindset that one can make friends at any age, any stage of their lives.

If you think about it, you’ll realize that many of us have had to do that at some point in our lives.

Your school friends no longer understand you or connect with you the way your college friends do. A friend you have a shared experience with today matters more than your childhood “bestie.”

Friends will always remain close to your heart, but you move on. And there’s nothing you can consciously do about it.

What you can consciously strive to do is build new relationships, forge new friendships, and know in your heart that your old friends will remain special. They have their place. They will be there for you when you need them (and vice versa). You can find your tribe—through communities, professional networks, book clubs, social media. That’s the mindset I adopt when I go into a networking conversation.

Networking for me doesn’t just mean getting a job.

It’s a way for me to meet people who I might forge a bond with, who may have the same values as I do, who love similar things, who have had similar experiences, who know what I’m going through at this moment, who are also open to the idea of new bonds, new friendships.

If you haven't figured out the next shade of my personality, it's this: the willingness to network knowing the conversation can lead me anywhere or nowhere in particular. There's no fixed destination in a networking conversation. In fact, I want it to surprise me.

If those friendships get me a job or an opportunity to explore the world, then that’s amazing. If they don’t, that’s fine, too!

That’s my networking mantra. What’s yours?

---

See you Sunday!

Photo credit: Unsplash

One last thing!

Survey it! It only takes one minute to complete my Being Curious survey, and your feedback helps me make each essay/article better:

I hope that you enjoyed this post and are staying safe and healthy out there. Use the comment button below to share your thoughts.

Share this essay with others! If you loved reading, please share this newsletter with your friends, family or colleagues by clicking the Share button below. Thank you in advance!

You can also find me on LinkedIn and Twitter, so you can share any thoughts or questions you may have about careers, personal growth, networking, travel and communities. With Being Curious, I’m sharing my experiences and random musings on working abroad, career pivots, personal growth, the passion economy, networking, and more. It’s a way to keep myself accountable in sharing my tips with other people who are struggling or stuck and need that extra nudge. This is an interesting experiment for me, and I can’t wait to see where I go with this.

Cheers,

Kritika